Amitayus: In May, the day the workshop finished, she got on a plane and flew to the States to meet me in Portland. We had three months together there.
It was about a month into that trip.
We were in Portland, in the guest bedroom of my cousin’s house, cuddling in bed. That was the first time I asked her to marry me and she said yes.
I say ‘first time’ because I proposed to her a few times.
Elica: In astrology we have a joke:
What does the Cancerian say after sex?
“When are we getting married?”
We’d actually joked about this the first time we’d spent the night together too.
Part of me felt a proposal was going to come, but I didn’t expect him to get there so quickly. So when he asked, although I was surprised and wondering if he was serious, I said yes because I was serious.
Amitayus: I can’t remember the second time exactly but the third proposal was after we went to Arizona and I bought her an engagement ring. She also told me later that that’s when it felt real to her; when I gave her the ring.
We flew down to Arizona where my family lives and made the announcement to them. One of my cousins put a photo on Facebook announcing it to the world before we had a chance to. Her family in Australia still didn’t know and that’s how they found out.
Elica: We then put a video up of ourselves on Facebook personally announcing our engagement. This shocked the entire Tantric community and it was absolute pandemonium! The collective shock was, “We don’t get married on Koh Phangan—we just sleep with each other!”
Amitayus: Even when we did a conscious stag event with a men’s circle, one of my friends said, “I didn’t even know you we’re allowed to get married in Tantra.” That was always the perception.
This sentiment followed us at the actual wedding: One of our friends and teachers who heads a yoga school there was saying that by getting married we had created a foundation of something in the community which others could follow. It would create the potential for depth and commitment.
After our stay in the States, she had to go back to Koh Phangan because she was working on the workshop. We flew back together and started planning the wedding. So much for me leaving the island for good—I’m still stuck going there to this day!
Alchemy and our blessed wedding ceremony
Elica: We had many people asking us about our ceremony.
Amitayus: We got together in January 2016 and got married in March 2017, a little over a year after we got together.
Elica: If you’re a Tantric person that works with the energy you will know that you need to take the wedding ritual very seriously. In line with the Tantra teachings, we were very careful about that.
Elica: Getting married really does alchemically change the connection between two people, there’s no doubt about that. It opens up a magic space which allows things to grow where they couldn’t be grown before.
We did the astrological chart for the wedding so that our marriage would take place at the most beneficial space in time for us.
Amitayus: We had a seven minute gap where our celebrant had to get us to the point where we said, “I do,” otherwise the chart would have changed.
The ritual really is important because it transforms. Even before we were married, we felt that we were committed for life. But having the ritual added a different layer of depth, a different energy, an even more profound knowing.
I have to say, our wedding ceremony was an absolutely blessed event.
Another thing we wanted to do was make sure we had the right name for us. Your name is one of the ways that you interact and interface with reality, the cosmos and God. Changing your own personal name can change your vibration.
Elica: This is why when some women get married and take on their husband’s surname, everything goes bad.
Amitayus: With this in mind, we recently took a new surname.
Elica: We chose it together and it’s a name that we know is good for both of us.
