Elica: I couldn’t deceive myself that this would be possible in any other way—if I was to have a conscious relationship which involved healing work, I couldn’t have this relationship with my partner be an open one.
This was not something I could keep to myself.
‘I’m going to have to tell him this. There’s no other way—I’m just going to have to fess up and say it…’
In full realization of the fact that this could be the end of it, I asked him if he would meet with me online because I wanted to talk to him about something.
I was very open and walked him through how I felt. Then, I stepped back and gave him the time to think about it.
Amitayus: After leaving Korea, I didn’t want to be with anyone else either but I’d assumed that that’s what she needed.
I remember telling a friend of ours beforehand that I wasn’t sure if I was interested in open relationships anymore because I was really looking for depth and a commitment—not in terms of time, but a commitment to each other in terms of presence and intimacy. So, unbeknownst to her, that was already on my mind.
When she first brought it up, my initial gut reaction was, ‘That’s great! That’s also what I want,’ but I wanted to give it some time to make sure I’m not agreeing just to agree.
I explained all of this to her openly and I told her that I didn’t think it was going be to be a problem but that I wanted to honor the question by giving it careful thought. We were to get back to each other in 24 hours about it.
Elica: We took this decision really seriously.
I really gave him the space to think about it. It was during this processing time that he put his thoughts on paper and they were eventually published in an article.
He also did a Tarot reading about it.
Amitayus: The reading was to see if it was going to be good for us. What came up were some negatives, but these were drowned out by many of the beautiful positives that we would receive from it.
Elica: We spoke after 24 hours. He said that that was okay and we were going to give it a go.
Amitayus: It was a great decision and I’m very happy with it!
Amitayus: When I went back to the States on a one-way ticket, she went back to Koh Phangan. We were apart for two months. It was really hard to be apart. Perhaps it was a little easier for her since she was working 60-hour weeks building her project up but I was really feeling it…
Elica: It was very hard for me too—it was a really long time and was particularly difficult because it was the beginning of our relationship and everything was so romantic, so exciting but we were so far apart. Skype is not the same.
