Finally, he said, "I thought she was going to die."
Roy leaned forward.
"But she didn't."
"I've never been that scared."
"Being scared can be good. It pushed you to act quickly," Roy said.
Tyler looked at him.
"You always fix everything for me."
Roy went quiet.
"I thought that was what I was supposed to do."
"It made it easy not to care," Tyler said. "If I got in trouble, you came. If I failed something, Mom blamed the teacher. Dad gave me money. Nobody expected me to do anything."
Roy's face changed.
He had spent years resenting his parents for leaving Tyler to him, but he had never admitted that rescuing Tyler had become part of the problem.
"I was trying to give you what they didn't," Roy said.
"You did," Tyler replied. "You raised me more than they did."
His voice cracked.
"But you also never let me find out whether I could handle anything."
Roy looked toward the stairs, where Emma was sleeping.
"You handled today."
Tyler wiped his face.
"After I gave a toddler something that nearly killed her."
"And now you'll never hand a child food without checking with their parent again," I said.
He looked at me, surprised.
I was still angry.
I would probably feel guilty for leaving the children with him for a long time.
I knew Tyler would carry guilt too.
But I could not keep seeing him as only the lazy teenager on my couch.
"Thank you for not panicking," I said.
"I did panic."
"You acted anyway."
That seemed to matter to him.
Later, after Noah had fallen asleep, Tyler told us why he had been suspended.
The other student had mocked him for failing two classes and said everyone knew his parents would defend him again.
Tyler shoved him.
It did not excuse what he had done.
But for the first time, he admitted that the comment hurt because it was true.
"I don't know what I'm doing after graduation," he said. "I don't even know if I can graduate."
"You can," Roy said.
Tyler shook his head.
