I felt tears rise, hot and fast.
"Because I was terrified you'd see me differently. And because saying it out loud felt like I was telling Levi he wasn't enough. He's been enough for my entire life, Eloise. He was there for my first tooth, my first bike, and my wedding. Sebastian is just a name in a story Mom told me once when I was 15. I decided that name didn't get to matter."
I swallowed hard.
"So when you looked at Lily and said what you did, you weren't accusing me of anything?"
"I was terrified you'd see me differently."
"God, no, baby!" His voice broke. "I was looking at our daughter and seeing the first piece of him I've ever seen in my own child. I didn't know how to hold that feeling. I'm so sorry I scared you, my love."
My MIL squeezed my fingers.
"Eloise, honey, that's on me too. I asked him to keep it quiet when he was a boy because I didn't want Levi to feel replaced. That was my choice, to put that burden on a child. I'm sorry for what it cost the two of you."
"I'm so sorry I scared you."
I looked down at Lily, at that tiny birthmark that had turned our lives sideways in one moment. She was still sleeping, unbothered by any of it.
"That secret is what stopped me from getting to know you better. I'll do better if you allow me," Sadie added.
"I need you two to promise me something," I said, meeting their eyes. "No more secrets. Not the small ones, not the ones you think will protect me. If we're doing this parenting thing, we do it with everything on the table."
"I promise. I swear to you."
"I'll do better if you allow me."
My MIL nodded.
"And I want to help you find out who Sebastian is."
Ethan flinched.
"Eloise, no! I can't do that to Levi!"
"This isn't about replacing Levi. This is about Lily. She's going to ask about her grandparents someday. She deserves an answer that isn't a half-truth."
My husband looked at his mother, then back at me, torn.
Ethan flinched.
Don't miss
My MIL was quiet for a long moment. Then she reached into her purse, the same one I remembered from the baby shower, and pulled out that same worn envelope. The edges were feathered from years of handling.
"I've been carrying this since before you were born, Ethan. I told myself I'd give it to you the day you were ready to ask."
She placed it in his hand.
He opened it slowly.
