Amitayus: There are many beautiful aspects of being open to multiple people. It allows you to observe how you interact differently with different people and teaches you how to handle many different energies. You also really learn how to communicate transparently and very honestly. It leaves you with an appreciation of the fact that while love is infinite, time and energy are not and you need to prioritize them.
When you have one relationship, everything is hard enough.
When you have more than one relationship, everything becomes exponentially more difficult.
The process did indeed give me a lot of growth and I had some beautiful experiences and connections. But I must admit, my observations also left me with the feeling that most people were not practicing open relationships, they were really just practicing openness.
In general, I would say Koh Phangan is not a place where there is a lot of depth in terms of commitment. It’s a very transient place. People are never sure how long they will be there for: A few weeks, months or years, so it is really not a good place for anything long-term.
Even the women there; although many of them would say that they are frustrated about the situation and are looking for more depth, if they were pushed and asked, “Well, why are you here then?” it might turn out that perhaps that’s not what they’re really looking for either as they’re coming to a place where it’s clearly not available.
Amitayus: Many different people get into open relationships for different reasons and communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. Knowing this, I personally was very clear for my reasons for practicing it and whenever I engaged with someone, I had to know their intentions too.
In contrast to many people there, I felt I wasn’t interested in a constant flow of new people and possibilities. It was very clear to me that I was looking for a relationship, one that had deep connection.
So while I was meeting new people, exploring new things, learning about myself, practicing lots of yoga, I was always longing for that depth.
I had a few longer-term relationships along the way but nothing that stuck. Either my partners were really into me and wanted to marry me and I wasn’t, or they were the ones to break my heart. This actually was a recurring theme in my relationships my whole life until I met Elica.
Elica: While he was doing all this on the island, I was in Australia, where I’m from, engaged to be married to someone else. Yes, I had very different wedding plans.
As fate had it, it didn’t work out. I decided I needed to get away, take a break and clear the slate so I could start a fresh chapter.
Some of my good friends who’d been to Koh Phangan told me about it. I thought, “Oh, that island sounds nice. I’ll go there and do some yoga for a couple of weeks and come back.”
That was three years ago and while I did go there as planned, I never went back to my old life again and still live between Australia and the island. Koh Phangan has a way of altering your reality for sure.
