An 89-year-old man at the retirement home got down on one knee and asked me to marry him

took that call was not unkind and did not know. She put me through to the manager, Danuta, who is fifty-five and runs a building with forty-one residents and eleven staff and who has, I am now certain, about nine minutes of spare time in a working day.

And Danuta said something that I have thought about every month since.

She said: “Mrs Tarrant, I’ve got four people in this building in that position. If I start making those calls for one of them I have to do it for all of them, and it isn’t my job, and there isn’t anybody whose job it is.”

She was not being defensive. She was telling me the truth about her building, and the truth is that there is no post in that organisation — or, as far as I can establish, in any similar organisation in this county — whose job it is